Movie Fan Zone

Let us now talk about those athletes who hit the screen so hard their performances went THUD! Some performances were simply worse than Joe Theismann’s injury. Hell, some were more offensive than Marty McSorley’s antics in the NHL.

Shaquille O’Neal – His basketball achievements are simply marvelous. His rapping is debatable. His acting was the equivalent of Michael Olowokandi’s NBA career. Blue Chips had a bit of a promise. Kazaam and Steel are simply unforgivable. It made kids squirm. Imagine what the adults in the audience had to endure. Shaq attacked the silver screen with the same impact as a Muggsy Bogues pirouet.

Dennis Rodman – he may write a pretty entertaining book but if he could muster an even worse performance than “The Muscles From Brussels”, it surely disqualifies him from being a Screen Actors Guild member. With Jea Claude Van Damme’s Double Team, he proved his acting chops were just as bad as his free throw shooting. No wait, I’m sorry. His FTs are actually good in the clutch.

Hulk Hogan – I’ll admit, he was actually quite entertaining as Thunderlips in Rocky III. His other film ventures were not. Suburban Commando and Mr. Nanny still left its viewers stung like someone delivered a legdrop from heaven onto them. Hope he never retires from the ring since if he did, we might see No Holds Barred reincarnated.

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Shaquille O’Neal, Blue Chips, Kazaam, Steel, Dennis Rodman, Jean Claude Van Damme, Double Team, Hulk Hogan, Rocky III, Thunderlips, Suburban Commando, Mr. Nanny, No Holds Barred

[image from: gyozagaming.com]